There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
