I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
