also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize