Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize