how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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