The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
