I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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