How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
