I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
