just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
