Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
