I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize