youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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