well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize