I just cut my nipple shaving
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
