I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize