Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you win again, gameday.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
