I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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