i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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