well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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