By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
