whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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