Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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