fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
