sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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