It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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