Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
