What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
organizing the empties. That sober.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
