Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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