I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
