Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize