I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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