How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
