I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
