No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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