I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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