Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hippo gnu deer
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
