for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
