Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
