you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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