For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize