I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We have started to decorate penises.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
