My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
