Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
