oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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