we're blogging at a bar
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
