I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
