i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
