I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Text me some of your sweat
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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