Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
