I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
