I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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