I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we're so committed to being not committed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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