Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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