does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
