my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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