I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now