Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618
  Replies (49) Good night (5421) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (16853) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx
  Replies (28) Good night (8539) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns http://tfl.nu/88xb
  Replies (16) Good night (1386) Bad night (5515) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5328) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian. http://tfl.nu/x5ta
  Replies (18) Good night (6970) Bad night (2048)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
  Replies (36) Good night (3981) Bad night (1513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2295) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of
  Replies (15) Good night (721) Bad night (1755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before http://tfl.nu/7hf6
  Replies (12) Good night (742) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  That's better than I've done so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm
  Replies (0) Good night (998) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck. http://tfl.nu/k122
  Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever." http://tfl.nu/4u45
  Replies (9) Good night (1184) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (280) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt

Randomize